Q & A: "Reality-Based" Therapy and Becoming Real
Updated: Sep 13, 2019
Journalist: I know there are many techniques you have to help “reshape people” into creating a new and improved blueprint of themselves. But, how do we ultimately heal from trauma in our lives?
A: Yes, I can definitely do a lot of fancy footwork to help accelerate the process of healing, helping to rescript aspects of the past in the subconscious so we can redesign our future! I can really help to lift negativity off a person more quickly, and make the process so much easier. But, ultimately we have to change our toxic emotional reactions and negative belief systems. We have to reclaim love for ourselves in different areas so that we can become more whole and complete. We have to unblock negativities that are holding us hostage in our thoughts, feelings, and actions, so that we can truly love, accept, feel safe, and strong within ourselves. When we have more love for ourselves, we have more freedom and strength to grow and live a purposeful and happy existence.
Journalist: So in a sense you are helping people to become more “Real?”
A: Yes. More who they really are meant to be. Most people are sick because there is another part of them dying to get out, but they are trapped or stuck. Underneath all the anger, fear, sadness, grief, guilt, hurt, frustration, and confusion that overwhelms you is your essence — who you were before all the bad things happened in your life. This is a person of love and humility, truth, and light, even if you don’t see it at this moment. My patients often say they feel lighter and like a “weight was lifted off of them” as we go through the process of healing. You really get to see yourself in all your beauty for who and what you really are, and it is a very empowering experience! That said, therapy can lift off the bad things, so the good in you comes out, the “real you.” But, we can’t create good or love in a person, we can only bring out and enhance what is really there — your essence.
Journalist: And what about yourself? You aren’t just a therapist, you do so much. You are a talented artist, speaker, media personality, dancer, researcher and writer. You are kind of a Renaissance person and you have many responsibilities. How do you keep it all so “Real” yourself?
A: Ha-ha, yes, my friends would say I am a very “real” person, probably my patients too! I used to think I had my professional self in one box, and my personal self in another box, and then I realized that there is another box that is called “me” and blends everything together. I’m not just educated with degrees and certifications, but I am an artist, and what you could call a “clairsentient.” In this field you bring so much of yourself and who you are into your therapeutic designs. It is a human interaction. Unfortunately, we live in a culture of the “unreal,” so much can be a façade or a stereotype.
Journalist: I’m curious about our “Unreal” culture and how you’ve managed to maintain your “Real” self within it and in spite of it, which is so amazingly unique about you. Can you explain?
A: Thank you very much I appreciate that! Yes, from an early age I figured out this wasn’t a culture of the “real.” This is the culture of artificial everything including artificial intelligence. They are even coming out with smart pills, because apparently we aren't "smart enough." We aren’t beautiful enough. Good enough. Smart enough. Loved enough. Rich enough. We must encourage a culture of more "Realness." Especially when it comes to the basics of the human condition! Not just regarding acceptance of people who get sex changes or have different sexual preferences. But to really be able to be vulnerable in certain ways and transparent without fear of showing your humanness. Now, as for me, I’ve had so many experiences which have been a blessing and humbling and have taught me who I am and what I am made of. I have realized that “Real” isn’t just about not wearing makeup, which has become a fashion statement on social media blogs. Being “Real” is really being able to be who you are on the inside and let that person out. If you want to laugh, laugh. If you want to sing, sing. If you want to cry, cry. If you want to dance, dance. I don’t subscribe to socially constructed notions and biases, and yes, although I am a therapist, I even cry sometimes because I am human, and I like being human.